Wednesday, March 04, 2015

  • Wednesday, March 04, 2015
  • Elder of Ziyon
Our weekly column from the humor site PreOccupied Territory


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Cambridge, Massachusetts, March 4 - Researchers at Harvard University Medical School have concluded that homosexuality in its current form was the product of a Zionist effort to undermine the social order in Muslim societies and exploit the consequent instability to seize land and resources.

A study by epidemiologists at the university's Seminar On Disorders Of Male Youth examined historical documentation of the prevalence of male homosexuality in traditionally Muslim countries, and found that it increased exponentially immediately upon arrival of Zionist activists in the 1930's ad 40's.

Correlation does not equal causation, however, and the researchers performed a deeper, more penetrating analysis of the data to tease out the relationship between the two trends. They found that clinical evidence from that period demonstrates that the Zionists brought with them a genetically engineered pathogen specifically designed to bind to cells bearing non-Jewish mitochondrial DNA. Because Jews determine the Jewishness of a child by its mother, the use of mitochondrial DNA is crucial in distinguishing between Jew and non-Jew, since unlike the nuclear chromosomes, mitochondrial DNA is transmitted only through the mother.

The findings, to be published in the April 1 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, describe the pathogen, which attaches itself to a gene called mPHAG-2 known for its role in determining sexual orientation. As yet unnamed and unisolated, the hypothesized viral DNA remains in the host's genome through the female line, turning successive generations of non-Jews into homosexuals. The initial infection by the pathogen does not distinguish between male and female hosts, such that even daughters will carry at least one copy of the gene to pass on to their sons. If a female also inherits an X chromosome from her father that carries certain common variants of a separate gene, she becomes a lesbian.

As a result of the Zionist homosexuality pathogen, say the researchers, the frequency of homosexuality in the Muslim world has increased four hundredfold in the ensuing eighty years, fomenting social unrest and distracting the authorities from any policies that would unify Muslim countries against the Zionist scheme to gradually usurp all the land between the Nile and Euphrates, and enslave the inhabitants. The scientists note it has proved remarkably effective.

Other medical experts immediately hailed the study as a breakthrough on multiple fronts. "What we have here is nothing less than a revolutionary understanding of an epidemiological event over decades, coupled with a horrifying, yet ingenious, instance of genetic manipulation half a century before the rest of the scientific community thought it possible," said University of Göttingen Professor R. Sbandit, a noted authority on viral epidemiology who was not involved in the study. "As a scientist I am torn, feeling both revulsion at the cynical use of scientific knowledge for evil political ends, yet strangely in awe of the prowess of whoever developed this thing."

The findings also shed light on emerging Israeli military technology and may force other Middle East countries to confront the looming threat of an even more explosive onslaught of Zionist-driven homosexuality.

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